I’ve had a couple of weeks off nursing a broken collar-bone but now finally I can manage two-hand typing I’m ready for this blog.
As I lay on a forest floor in agony waiting for an ambulance I had three hours to think. And of course it wasn’t always happy thoughts.
Unable to move without an incredible searing pain in my shoulder and neck, I started questioning what this meant for work.
In over four years working for myself I’ve never been ill, not properly. Even a short bout of COVID in 2021 barely stopped me working.
But this looked like it might.
At a really bad time; my busiest – when I’m scouting for startups for the accelerator programme I run.
Would I have to stay in hospital? Have an operation? Be cast up? I pictured myself in one of those neck braces.
Definitely unable to travel around the UK to meet startups in April as planned.
And what was worse was seeing – and sensing – my wife’s anxiety. She was worried for me of course. But she was also worried about our livelihood.
I am very glass half-full. I also believe this life I’m living is by far and away better than the one I left behind at BP.
But it’s not without risk.
I have lost the safety net of an employer.
Fortunately, my catastrophising didn’t play out, and after a bumpy ride to A&E, an X-ray and a quick check by a consultant I was in my own bed with some codeine and a sling.
One groggy day post-morphine and I was back to work talking to startups. No-one would have noticed apart from the sling.
And my clients have all been wonderful. Behaving just like the best kind of employer.
But some well-paid consultancy with a new client had to be cancelled as I wasn’t up to being grilled as an ‘expert’ for three hours. Two weeks later they still haven’t confirmed a rescheduled meeting. So that may have cost me some future revenue.
So it’s real the impact.
I never want to paint this life as a dream and my old one as a nightmare because neither is true nor fair. Both have pros and cons.
A couple of weeks on, I’m of course back to ‘normal’, including how I feel about working for myself.
But it’s been a wake-up call.
I often say I feel like I’m working in real business now, more exposed yes, but also really feeling the ups and downs of business.
That night was definitely a down.
And it won’t be the last.
But I came through it.
No regrets still; no desire to go back.
No wish to trade all the benefits of this life just to feel protected by someone else.
I am my own safety net.
