Key points:
As educators, we know that small moves make a big difference, but I personally hadn’t thought about the impact of just one word. Having conducted well over a thousand observations of K-12 teachers over the last 15 years, I have noticed there is one piece of feedback I have given more than any other–and it involves a seemingly minor word change.
Multiple times in any class period, teachers call on students to contribute to the lesson of the day. Sometimes they will cold call students, while other times they will ask students to share what they learned after they’ve had a chance to read the assigned material or discuss it with their classmates in groups. When they do this, the vast majority of teachers I have observed start off by saying, “Tell me…,” as in “Tell me why we should conjugate the verb in that way,” or “Tell me what the author means by that,” or even, “Tell me what you think of what your classmate said.”
When I observe this, the feedback I give is simple: I ask them to replace “me” with “us”: “Tell us.”
This one-word change signals to students that their contributions matter not just for the teacher’s approval, but for the collective learning of everyone in the room. Saying “Tell Us,” instead of “Tell me,” validates each student’s role as both a learner and giver of knowledge.
It is shockingly difficult for most teachers to alter their language in this manner. Observation after observation, I continue to hear the echo of “Tell me” from hallway to hallway, classroom to classroom. I believe that this habit is deeply ingrained in traditional classroom structures where teachers are seen as the controllers rather than the facilitators of the classroom. I have incorporated this particular linguistic shift into my work with other educators at Relay Graduate School of Education.
I gave the feedback to a teacher who was shocked at how many times she said “Tell me,” when she looked back at the video. In our next meeting, she told me that she had been focused on making the shift and could already feel a palpable difference in how kids spoke to her and each other.
“Tell me” indicates that I, the teacher, have asked a question and want an answer. I want to judge what has been said. That judgment might be positive or negative, affirming or critiquing, but regardless the judgment is solely mine. I’m the one who is going to be looking at the student when they talk, and I also expect that they will look at me. At this stage, I am probably not thinking that much about the other students because I have asked the participating student to tell me…and me alone.
“Tell us,” on the other hand, means that I, the teacher, want the student to share their thoughts with the entire class. I want to start a conversation, but I also want the student to look at their classmates and communicate the information to them directly. I want them to be audible enough for everyone to hear them, not just me. Each student should know that their voice matters–not just because they happen to be answering my question but because we all have something to learn from what they say.
Many teachers want their classrooms to feel like a community, where students learn from each other and care about what the others are saying. Noble intentions like these are made possible primarily through the little decisions we make in our interactions with individual students.
Every word matters.
Once teachers embrace ‘Tell us,’ small but deliberate moves can reinforce this shift in student discourse. Here are a few strategies to make this shift in language as impactful as possible:
- Intentionally time when you call on a student to tell us. Only call on a student to “Tell us,” after every student has an opportunity to engage. As Anita Archer and Spencer Kagan have written extensively about, every question should be an opportunity for every student to respond. At the same time, teachers will need to elevate certain voices for the whole class to hear, whether it’s to showcase strong thinking, elevate different perspectives, or highlight a misconception. To meet both needs–ensuring that all students participate while also elevating key voices–give all students time to think, write, or talk before selecting one or more students to share. Then, say “Tell us _____.”
- Be intentional with your movements. When you call on someone to “tell us _____,” move away from the speaker and look around the class. This encourages the student to speak audibly because they realize they aren’t talking directly to you. It also encourages them to make eye contact with those around them, as they are now talking to the entire class instead of you.
- Motion to the class as you speak. When saying, “Tell us_____,” simply moving one arm from one side of your body to the other–much as a preacher might speak to a congregation–visually communicates that the class is being invited to listen. It is also an invitation for the speaker to be attentive to communicating with the entire class.
If we want students to see learning as a shared experience, we must be intentional in the language we use. What small shifts can you make today to build a more inclusive and collaborative classroom–one where every voice truly matters?
The next time you ask a question in your classroom, consider pausing for a moment before speaking. Will you say, “Tell me’ or will you say ‘Tell us?’”
