It was only when I left my corporate career that I realised how small my view of myself had become: what I did, how well I did it, what I was capable of doing.
Today, every conversation with a client where they unpack their tiny sense of self sends me hurtling back to how I felt then. And then bouncing back to today and feeling very grateful I’m here, not there.
When you do the same thing on repeat, you stop attributing any value or unique talent to it. You assume that because you can do it easily, anyone can.
But it takes leaving to believe it. I see my clients’ scepticism.
Pretty soon after I left BP I was hired as a consultant by a smaller company to do some work on its marketing strategy. I did the job well, but what I noticed was the client listened, really listened – like I was an expert.
I’d not had that feeling before.
Not like my expertise was worth paying for.
Which let’s face it is the only objective validation.
This week I was in Amsterdam with a very big consultancy, running a workshop for its client, on something I did four years ago at BP. On my feet for three hours, holding a room, people taking notice.
A paid expert.
And I’ve done it scores of times over these past few years. Each time expanding my view of myself, what I do and can do.
I’ve felt vulnerable at times of course, even this week, wrestling with the imposter syndrome, “Why would anyone listen to me?“. I’ve had to push myself into much more uncomfortable territories than ever I faced at BP.
It reminds me of one of my early podcasts with Niall Riddell. He’s founder of an EV charging business Paua. But he had a long corporate career before that at EDF and SSE. You can watch the clip but the immortal line “Niall, you need to be more entrepreneurial, Niall, you need to be more innovative” has really stuck with me. I suspect someone said that to me at some stage – someone probably far less entrepreneurial and innovative than I was.
What I love is Niall’s outrage “No-one can judge the limits of your capability”.
And that’s how I feel now, when I see people who (they will later admit) are a shadow of their potential. Maybe even a shadow of their past selves.
And I also know that one day, they will recognise their growth, the shift and their self-belief. Like I do.
In my coaching one-to-ones, my goal is to bring forward ‘one day’, to help people feel this self-belief and recognise their valued expertise before they make the leap – on the company’s time. So they leave from a launchpad and maximise their chances of success.
One of my coaching clients this week said they were really struggling to describe what they do. I directed them to Part 2 of Corporate Escapology which has lots of tools to help draw out our unique blend of skills, experience and know-how. And here are five other things to try:
1. Give yourself a head start: our self-deprecation can make it hard to write down what we’re good, so start with some psychometric tests. Maybe you’ve done some at work you can dust off, otherwise go online there are dozens and you’ll quickly notice patterns.
2. Look below the surface: one of the exercises I developed for my group coaching is called Iceberg – to encourage people to look at all the incredible skills, experience and knowhow that have got them to where they are today. Some may be dormant but they can reactivated easily. If you want this exercise message me and I’ll email you a copy.
3. Ask trusted supporters: select a few people who know you well and ask them to list out your top five attributes, the things they think you do really well or bring to a problem. Bit cringeful I know, so do it over email and tell them it’s to help with your development plan or something. Again, look for patterns. In my last role at BP, we had some enforced feedback where we had to meet 121 with different people each week – I learnt so much about how I was viewed and what people valued about me.
4. Use the extremes: Most of our work is a classic bell curve of >80% doing routine stuff, but every so often something really screws up and we fix it, or something really amazing happens. In my book, there’s an exercise for this called “Best of times, Worst of Times” – find the times when you shone.
5. Overclaim to brainstorm: Not for the CV maybe, but as an exercise to think really laterally about all your talents – imagine every task, project or conversation you ever completed had a job title with the word Manager or Advisor. Write them down. Just day I have been an Internal Communication Manager, Career Advisor, Startup Advisor, Finance Manager, Content Manager, Community Manager…
I am the Champion of the Company Person who, generally speaking, is far more valuable and valued than they realise. I wrote my book mainly because I wanted people to see this and believe they have options – even if you choose to stay in your job make it an active choice.
An important step is understanding and being able to describe what you do best.
Thanks to everyone who has helped me promote this year’s two cohorts for the group coaching Escapology Live. Cohort 3 started this week and Cohort 4 starts next week. And because I sold out and set up a waitlist I have already half-filled Escapology Live 5, which will be a daytime session, running Friday lunchtime UK time, 12-1PM – from February 7. If you’re interested or know someone who might be, you can sign up here.
