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When a 28 year old in New York saw me more clearly than I did

softbliss by softbliss
April 11, 2025
in Startups
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When a 28 year old in New York saw me more clearly than I did
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At this week’s Carry on Escapology (the extension to Escapology Live), one of the group said they’d started working for a consultancy to undertake commission-based selling. They’re effectively sourcing business leads for someone else.

It’s a pretty efficient way to make money. Spend a few hours a day targeting potential customers, reaching out and getting on a call.

Efficient because for those few hours you can make quite a bit of money. Maybe 10% or more of any project sold. And even commission from follow-on work.

It reminded me that I’d had a similar offer from a brand/design agency based in New York when I first left BP. I’d worked with them on a really short project – just six weeks – but we worked well together and they delivered beautiful work fast, so I was a fan.

But I was surprised to be asked to grow their London business after so little engagement.

Now I look back I’m less surprised.

Six weeks is probably enough time to suss someone out.

But it’s more than that.

The agency’s founder, who was just 28, saw someone very different in me than I saw in myself (unfortunately).

He saw someone with credibility, a safe pair of hands, a network, someone who knows how corporates work – and also experience as a client.

This is the point I find myself making to almost all the people I coach: by being successful in a corporate means you have more value than you realise.

All too often they – like me – miss it.

We look for more tangible things, things we value (or think other people value). Insecurities make us cling to our domains, when we are much more versatile. Like walking around still talking about our degrees in our forties and fifties.

Business development isn’t right for everyone – nor is it what all of us enjoy doing – but that’s not really the lesson here.

It’s more a rallying call for all of us to build a much bigger and bolder appreciation of everything we can do – and the value we can create for others.

To do this, we may need to step into other people’s shoes or ask other people, because we don’t always see it.

That 28 year old New York agency founder saw more in me then than I saw in myself.

Four years on I’m pretty sure his assessment of me was better than my own.

So don’t take four years.

If you’ve got a copy of Corporate Escapology revisit the exercise Six Shoes – or message me if you want a PDF of it. It’s a very good way to source how other people see you. And ask people too. It’s a bit cringeful I know, but get past it.

The other day another client asked me for some questions to ask people so I sent her these:

  • What’s the first word you think of when you picture me?

  • What’s the gap I leave when I’m not there?

  • What are two contradictory things about me?

  • When was a time when you thought “That’s X”

Email’s best. Don’t put people on the spot. But you’ll be surprised by what you get back.

Corporate careers give us many things, but one thing they take away is our sense of self. Particularly our self outside of those careers.

Maybe it’s time to get to know yourself better?

I’ve launched a new round of Escapology Live, starting May 6th. If you – or someone you know – needs five weeks focused attention on detaching, auditing and exploring – with exercises, feedback and group support. And it’s a lot of fun meeting people going through what you’re going through – if you’re thinking about leaving or have recently left.

Here’s feedback from one recent participant:

“The group coaching sessions have been an incredibly valuable space for reflection and growth. The exercises in particular helped me step back from rigid job titles and think more broadly about the skills I enjoy using, the types of challenges I like to solve, and what motivates me.

Adam encouraged a much more creative approach to career thinking, one that felt aligned with my values and allowed me to explore new possibilities with more confidence and clarity.

Thank you Adam, for creating such a thoughtful and supportive experience.”

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